Have you ever been alone in a crowded room?

Happy days, happy times

2011-09-09T11:44:00.001-07:00

Hey it's 2011 and I can't believe how time flies! Anyway, I don't know if anyone actually reads this but I'm glad to say that that tortured phase of my life is over. It was a life lesson well spent and from it bore something so amazing that I could never imagine. Hey, funny how life always works out right? We can never fathom what God has in store for us all. That said, here's to patiently and faithfully waiting on the lord, and all of life's wonders just waiting to be discovered.

2010-05-21T06:58:00.000-07:00

So just face it, it is what you are. I mean, you'll never be able to replace like whatever and that things won't change just because you want them to. FACE IT. DON'T FREAKING LIVE IN DENIAL.

2010-04-23T06:39:00.000-07:00

Oh hurray, yet another bitchy day. Know what? It actually rhymes.
Yes, you're still the same but not the same. That made sense but it didn't. Life's complicating and yet it ain't. I don't like it this way, but maybe you do. Hmm then at least it'll all make sense.

Maybe that was what I wanted to know in the first place. For it to all make damn sense.
Let's show her who's boss!

2010-04-20T03:21:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm glad you know that.

2010-04-17T08:04:00.001-07:00

I really can't take this anymore. It's something tormenting me in my head.
A PERSON CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH.

But it's comforting to know that I'm not alone:)

2010-04-17T06:16:00.000-07:00

Life's just like that. SEEMINGLY ENDLESS. Oh well, we've just gotta deal with it.

I KNOW YOU KNOW I KNOW BUT ACTUALLY I DON'T KNOW.

2010-04-16T19:31:00.001-07:00

I would love to see what else you have to say, just to know how and what is really going on. Though it's gonna hurt, at least I know the truth. It's okay, I guess I can take it. What have I not seen already?

It's been a long and tiring 3 years. Can't this just pass like it did before? I guess not. Why? I really like being your friend. And that's why I'm not angry, I'm sad :(

2010-04-16T02:12:00.000-07:00

So maybe it's getting better, IDK.

If it is then shouldn't you tell me? Don't leave me hanging. Don't leave us hanging. It's a real horrible feeling you know.

2010-04-13T07:20:00.000-07:00

So nothing ever adds up.

2010-04-10T22:03:00.000-07:00

Yeah so now I want joy to run in me but I'm failing, so miserably.

2010-04-10T20:33:00.000-07:00

Okay now that's just mean. Real mean.
How about other people doing that to you for no reason? Is this your weird fetish or something? Making other people feel miserable? OH MY GOSH. THIS IS JUST KILLING ME.

It's not that I want to rant like this. It's just that if I don't let it out I feel horrible!! SOMEBODYHELPME.

No, things don't just happen like this for no reason unless it's you.

2010-04-09T04:49:00.000-07:00

You know what, no matter what you do, whatever shit you give me, I will always love you (as a friend). Even if you ignore me to no end, it's okay. I may get momentarily pissed off, but I'll forgive you. And when your realize that I am important, you can come be friends with me again. I'll be here waiting. Even if you never realize that I'm important and give me hell, it's okay. I will forgive because I know that's the right thing to do. Today, I have learnt that how you treat me doesn't matter, it is how I look at you.

(insert whitney houston song here)

Whenever you're ready, I'll be here. Maybe you'll think that my behavior is loser-ish but I don't care. As long as I'm doing the right thing, everything's swell.

Today was wicked awesome! (Y)

Mega long post today. Maybe too many things have been happening, maybe I am turning into another person, I don't know. God is testing me, I know. Then again, life is a test. A longgg and hard one but it'll be all worth it:)

2010-04-08T02:45:00.000-07:00

Well you know what? I take a whole lotta shit from you and I've never complained. So now you want to play this again? It's up to you. All I'm going to do is to sit back and smile.

Hope one day you'll realize that you're the one losing out.

kthxbye

2010-04-04T07:21:00.000-07:00

And then there's that awkwardness of being stuck in the middle.

I don't know what's going to happen when something happens! So I hope nothing happens.
Which is most likely not possible. Seeing the redness and everything, I just KNOW something is going to happen. So I shall just sit and wait, wait for that something.

Meanwhile, I shall be busy smiling at the world :)

(Y)

2010-04-01T01:23:00.000-07:00

Really, WHAT THE HELL AM I THINKING?!

2010-03-29T01:17:00.000-07:00

Oh well, I guess it's all relative.

2010-03-21T02:04:00.000-07:00

So sometimes I look to the sky and ask myself,

What am I?

What am I living for. What am I doing. What am I thinking. Just what is happening?
If someone has the answer, please give it to me. I don't want to go mad like this anymore. I want to know the answer. Please. Pretty please?

So if I am !!!!!!!, !!!!!, !!!, !!!!!! or anything else then just help me to stop. I can't do this on my own, you know that, I know that. HELP ME. I surrender, okay? Help me please.

I may not be perfect, but hey I am only human. Or am I?

LOL EMO POST. I FEEL HORRIBLE.

2010-03-19T22:11:00.000-07:00

And just like that, the week has come to an end. School's coming again and I don't think I'm ready.
SAVE MY SOUL.

2010-03-15T09:48:00.000-07:00

Ha, some things, you just can't hide, you just can't conceal.

So the real fun starts now.

2010-03-09T02:21:00.000-08:00

You have and you will hurt so many people you know that.

Stop.

2010-03-08T03:45:00.000-08:00

And with that, I rolled my eyes skywards, muttering under my breath.

2010-03-05T03:50:00.000-08:00

Shit so was I !!!!!!! or what. OMG. This cannot be happening.

But so I was still put off. GREEDY PIGGIES WON'T PROSPER. Where can I find what I want when I don't even know what I want. So what exactly do I want. Am I !!!!!!! ? HOW. WHY. WHAT?!

But I found that really ANNOYING. OMG.

2010-03-02T01:48:00.000-08:00

Hmm... Sometimes I think that it's a bit too much.

LAYS SALT AND VINEGAR (Y)

2010-02-24T05:35:00.000-08:00

Yeah, the truth hurts. But sometimes, you just have to face it. You can run, but you can never hide.

2010-02-20T03:46:00.001-08:00

Hey God, I am going to choose to forgive again. I've been awful, I know. And whatever happens, you're with me so I will forgive.

So I'm going to be good from now onwards. Going to do my math now:)

2010-02-19T07:21:00.000-08:00

So there's like still no change. Okay, it's fine by me.

I seriously hate the hum project and the people who screw it. Sometimes you just have to slap yourself and then you'll realize. But I doubt that you'll ever do that. Its like telling a dog to talk. I ignore so I won't insult. In a way, I'm actually being kinda nice. Oh well. Shit happens.

Totally screwed my chinese test because

a) I didn't even know there was a test
b) I didn't even know what it was tested on
c) I don't give a damn about chinese

So my chinese teacher can kp the life out of me and I still wouldn't care
Stop being AA and start being **. Like seriously. Can't stand it ttm.

I feel so awful so ya just pretend that I didn't say anything.

TGIF

2010-02-14T23:40:00.000-08:00

Seriously, turn back before it's too late!

CNY was okay. Okay because of the angpows:) Sitting in every house, listening to the chattering of the aunties, eating the occasional piece of bahkwa, the popping of pineapple tarts, and the same "Happy new year!" resounding in your ears over and over, is not really fun. CNY has become a ritual. A boring one.

It's monday. Just one more day of holiday and school will come back and haunt me again):

Funny how life just sucks.

2010-02-13T00:40:00.000-08:00

Forget that I ever said anything, cos' it never works on you.

Guess you'll just have to learn it the hard way. Good luck, have fun.

2010-02-08T00:52:00.000-08:00

I knew that it was the right thing to do:)
School was alright. Math was okay. I am feeling happy 'cos I'm smiling at the world.

CNY's coming! More $$$ :)

2010-02-05T03:29:00.000-08:00

School has been a drag. I can't stand it anymore. The fakeness and the grossness has me screaming for help. It has only been like one month and I'm already starting to feel the I-cannot-do-this feeling. Is it just me, or is it them? Now I fully understand how it feels like to be alone in a crowded room. You are just making my life miserable, I don't want to be manipulated anymore. But I can't help it. You're like some niggling poison in my brain eating my brain cells. You should just stop acting and be yourself. One day, all your layers of fakeness will fall off you and then we'll see. Everyday I see you behaving like some attention seeking whore. People may like you for now but will they in the long run? Please, go get yourself a life and start living like yourself. You're already in line and pretty soon, It's going to be your turn.

But still, I choose to forgive. Cos God forgave so we can forgive. So whatever it is, you can do whatever you want, and I'll still forgive you.

2010-01-31T02:39:00.000-08:00

Was quite disappointed today but oh well. Haha it was weird-ish and maybe fun at the same time. Don't be sigh-ish anymore eunice!! :)

Yet another week of school looms...

Will the chaos ever end?

2010-01-29T22:38:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I just don't know what to think. But I really don't care. Maybe this will strengthen things. Maybe, or is it already done.

So tell me what you want to hear, I'm gonna give all my secrets away.
Something that will like those ears, I'm gonna give all my secrets away.

And still, I'm just going to sit back and smile at the world.

2010-01-27T00:03:00.000-08:00

And this is how I'd like to live.

I wish life could be like that. Is it just me, or is life just getting more and more screwed up? I don't want to put up with this shit anymore. Hot cold hot cold it must be darn fun for you ya. How did things end up like this? It's going to be your turn soon.

2010-01-23T06:37:00.000-08:00

I don't understand. I don't want to care anymore. It's not like I did anything. This just sucks.
Yes, life sucks.
I'm going to make lemonade, I'm going to deal with it.

Yes I must, yes I can.

2010-01-14T07:58:00.000-08:00

Heh heh I'm so happy:)

Today was crappy with the freaking re exam but THAT totally made my day(which is ending in 2 minutes). Eunice and I had our comfort food in the form of chicken paus:) Awesome comfort book, sucky exam. I guess this is how it all balances out.

Hi Karen i enjoyed shitting with you:) You must reply to this!!

2010-01-11T03:37:00.000-08:00

Haha the pig's so cute:)

OMG I guess miracles really DO happen!!! I am SOOOOOOO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank You God for everything!!!! You really are awesome:) You'll still be awesome even if I didn't do so well. I will still trust/believe in you!!! Cos you are awesome!!!!!!!!!!

And I have awesome friends too!!! Friends that will cry with me when I do badly and will jump with me when I do well!!!! ILY!!!! (L) Omg i'm like so high.
For one is blessed when one has awesome friends:)

Okay i made that one up but it's true :):):):):):)

This post is so embarrassing and I know I'll be laughing at this in a few years time but who cares.

And now... I HAVE TO START ON MY CHINESE HOLIDAY HOMEWORK): OH WELL. I GUESS THERE'S A PRICE TO PAY FOR EVERYTHING.

Please go back to normal again. It's kinda weird without you. Sigh. And you were and still is a reaaallly good friend. Damn. I feel like I'm talking about some guy or smth LOL.

2010-01-08T02:53:00.000-08:00

Wish things will just go back to normal. School changes people, for better or for worse. I survived the first week of school! I'll really need a miracle to survive the next.

“You can erase someone from your mind.  Getting them out of your heart is another story. ”

—	Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind

Just wish things will go back to normal. God please help me.
I heart Haato :)

2010-01-07T06:00:00.000-08:00

What is the problem with people nowadays. Humans are such a complicated bunch. Why can't life just be simple? But then again, I guess I had it coming.

But I know it'll be over soon.

I'm sorry. Really.

2010-01-04T23:34:00.000-08:00

True. School continues to bore me. But I believe things will get better, soon. The exams are so gonna kill me. Sometimes I just wanna pluck ulcers out.

‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’

Terri - age 4

AHAHAHAHA. JOKE.

People who change themselves for the world are actually deceiving themselves and are fake inside and out. How sad.

Life is about kicking ass, not kissing it.

2010-01-04T04:31:00.000-08:00

School today had it's highs and lows I guess. Although shit happened. Yeah, shit happens. But whatever, I still have the awesomest friends on earth. So let's go dance in the rain.

2010-01-01T23:15:00.000-08:00

Doom in 2 days. Just watch me.

And i think i just took myself on a ride. How awesome.

2009-12-31T23:45:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I created this blog out of boredom, and i needed somewhere to write something. Thus this.
It's 2010 and I don't feel like anything's changed. Maybe it's just me.

Oh brother.